ARGHHHHHHHHHH


For whatever reason it may be, of late nothing I have done, do or say seems to be right.

It’s almost like living with one foot permanently in my mouth whilst some bastard constantly kicks me up the arse from behind.

I too have a point where enough is enough; I too get tired, sick of the daily shit in this world, and yes guess what I am not fucking perfect!

All the answers are not held inside of me I am not some magic fucking lamp that people can come and rub and out of me pops this little genie, god damn if I were that damn lamp I would be worn out by now.

In short I have come to the conclusion that I feel like I can’t breathe, I am suffocating on everything and nothing all at the same time, add to that the constant feeling of being pulled left right and fucking centre fairly soon I am going to be torn, which I have up to date managed to avoid and will not allow to happen.

Daily for me life is this ongoing fucking battle, as I am certain it is for a lot of people out there, however in Angels world it’s not as simple as one thing, or a diagnosis that is curable, in my world it’s a life fucking sentence, my illness is physical, on top of that now its mental with this acute panic shit and acrophobia, and to be honest, I really am tired of how selfish some pricks out there can be.

I have said before and I say again, I am not bling, I am no designer handbag, and I am not interested in the melodramatic sagas that I simply don’t have control over.

Yes everybody hurts, and as that stupid R.E.M song says everybody cries, that’s how it goes.

Simple.

We cry, we hurt, we breathe, we eat, shit, sleep and do it all over again the next day.

Yes I am impatient right now and yes I am pissed off, at how much others simply put onto me and expect me to click my fucking heels together and fix it all.

Well I aint Dorothy and my red heels don’t take me back to the Land of Oz with some cute dog in toe.

So back the fuck off!

About Angel O'Fire

New Zealand born, this kiwi chick took flight to live in the great land down under in Queensland Australia in 1988. I am clumsy at times not known for my tact and or grace, straight to the point, and somewhat impatient, I have come to accept that what is in this life simply is. Far from religious, I do not believe in a divine god per say that will come down and save the world, although I accept each to their own when it comes to their views and beliefs of what religion is or should be. I consider myself to be my own worst critic as I tend to strive for best, and have a tendency to push myself physically and emotionally beyond my limits. Still naive at times, still hoping to see the good rather than the bad in people, this has not been one of the qualities that I can say I am fond of, as it has come to burn me time after time over the years. I am a strong believer in Karma, as I do believe in what we put out is what we do get in return, good bad or indifferent. With a tendency to stand my ground when it comes to opinions, as we all have one, there is no right nor wrong, it is a perspective, a view point on how we view a subject. Zero tolerance for others who are self-riotous, I have no interest in people who claim to have never done any wrong in their lives, and who judge others, prior to walking in those they cast judgement upon’s shoes. I am just your average girl who is trying to make my way through life as it is. I am a mother, lover, friend, partner, co-worker, manager, coach, and referee, a Jill of all trades. A firm believer that ‘ignorance is not bliss’ nor is ‘ignorance’ and excuse to be an arsehole in the world we live in today, those who continue to use the ‘ignorance is bliss’ rule are plainly arrogant and uneducated. I love the water, beach surf and sand, the water is where I seem to find myself when I need to take 5 mins out of life's hectic cycle. I figure that each to their own, as it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I believe that life is not learnt out of a text book, and often wonder why we teach our lessons from one to our growing generations. Although I can be a surprising wealth of knowledge I find it amazing how a person can actually no so much about nothing, yet be a master of the topic. I am that girl who cuts her jeans into shorts because she got hot, am not one to enjoy shopping, in fact I hate the entire nightmare of going shopping and it has me fkd how so many chicks say 'lets make a day of it' and love bouncing from shop to shop looking at things that are well pointless. All in all that is me so hello world I'm Angel.
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One Response to ARGHHHHHHHHHH

  1. Sending you some Air!!! :-) and Deep Breaths… Love and Healing . DW xx

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