For whatever reason it may be, of late nothing I have done, do or say seems to be right.
It’s almost like living with one foot permanently in my mouth whilst some bastard constantly kicks me up the arse from behind.
I too have a point where enough is enough; I too get tired, sick of the daily shit in this world, and yes guess what I am not fucking perfect!
All the answers are not held inside of me I am not some magic fucking lamp that people can come and rub and out of me pops this little genie, god damn if I were that damn lamp I would be worn out by now.
In short I have come to the conclusion that I feel like I can’t breathe, I am suffocating on everything and nothing all at the same time, add to that the constant feeling of being pulled left right and fucking centre fairly soon I am going to be torn, which I have up to date managed to avoid and will not allow to happen.
Daily for me life is this ongoing fucking battle, as I am certain it is for a lot of people out there, however in Angels world it’s not as simple as one thing, or a diagnosis that is curable, in my world it’s a life fucking sentence, my illness is physical, on top of that now its mental with this acute panic shit and acrophobia, and to be honest, I really am tired of how selfish some pricks out there can be.
I have said before and I say again, I am not bling, I am no designer handbag, and I am not interested in the melodramatic sagas that I simply don’t have control over.
Yes everybody hurts, and as that stupid R.E.M song says everybody cries, that’s how it goes.
Simple.
We cry, we hurt, we breathe, we eat, shit, sleep and do it all over again the next day.
Yes I am impatient right now and yes I am pissed off, at how much others simply put onto me and expect me to click my fucking heels together and fix it all.
Well I aint Dorothy and my red heels don’t take me back to the Land of Oz with some cute dog in toe.
So back the fuck off!
Sending you some Air!!!
and Deep Breaths… Love and Healing . DW xx