Although I am the all-time queen of hating change, sometimes change is exactly what we need in our lives in order to put things back into perspective.
In a world filled with so much heart ache, suffering and selfishness, the daily routine of work, and more work can burn you out to say the least.
Me, well I got to that point where I was and am totally burnt out, to the point that the fight within me, just had no strength left behind it to keep battling, it was a matter of sink and drown as the undertow pulled me deeper into it, or time to move forwards.
One very tired drained and emotionally out of whack angel, has found herself finally finished with life on the coast line, the coast is the heart of where people find themselves when they have nowhere else to go, under the glamor, the bikinis and the stink of sunscreen is a very dark and isolated world, it’s the world of heart ache, the world that nobody talks about as they cover it up with the glamor of hot young chicks flopping their boobs out and buts as they flaunt their barbie arses around, with their perfect boyfriends who have the perfect tan, and the complete abs to match.
Yet hiding behind those abs, is the many people who have found themselves in very soul of the sands that will pull them into them, and continue to make their struggle to live each day a struggle that is one even I am lost for words to explain.
The coast, the uterus of mental health issues, the womb of drug and alcohol addictions, and sadly the sunscreen and the boobs will never mask the unspoken truth of the hardship that those who are stuck in the sands that sink live each and every day.
There was a time where I thought I would never want to leave the water, a time it made me feel at ease, at peace, yet the one place I found solitude in for so many years, turned out to be the same place that would show me just how hot the sands of hell are.
I am at a loss for words when it comes to the things I have learned especially over the past year, in fact to think of them all is like a fucking surreal head spin.
What I do know, and can say, is that finally that head spin has stopped, as I take a breath of fresh air, literally, and look out my window, to see the green outside, the world from a different view, and sigh, as I take some time out for me to re catch my breath and find my place, some time off work, some time to simply breath.
Time to refined angel.