They call your school years, the best years of your life; something tells me that this statement is wrong,

As we go through our awkward school years, we become conditioned to social situations;

We become independent, awkward, and have a sense a need more than ever to fit in.

These are the years we will find ourselves, in a world where we are no longer protected by our parents,

Puberty kicks in somewhere along the lines, and we begin to express our opinions as they form.

Nothing outside of the institutional learning is important anymore; as we start to drown in he said she said,

And she’s not talking to me;

Life takes on a total new meaning.

We learn the rules of life as we enter those years they call the best years; we discover that we want to belong.

We have an inbuilt need to fit in, to belong, to have friends, as we grow, school can be a total nightmare.

Those who are different will be outcast by their peers, groups of kids will form, the cool kids, the nerds, the geeks, and the misfits, the sports kids, the musically talented ones, the gifted ones, the naughty ones, and then there’s those who go out on their own, not wanting or needing to fit into any particular group, these kids are the rebels. (As we become labelled by our teachers, labels that will stick to us for life)

However these labels are not always accurate, although these labels are like a transparent tattoo we wear for life.

The best years of our lives my arse, whoever made that one up needs to be slapped.

School is often the worst time in anybody’s life, we are labelled, tagged and put through a system, the education system.

We are graded by numbers in reports after being tested on things that overall mean nothing in our real lives, algebra, and the square root of 9, Jesus, joseph and Mary, I have never needed to find out the square root of anything nor have I required the bullshit X =? Yet we are taught it, expected to retain this useless knowledge, tested, graded and labelled.

As we go through the years, and stages of life we find our thinking changes, as we realise that age is nothing more than a number,

And grey hair is classed as the new blonde.

We find our own niche within our worlds, or that niche finds us,

This is when life starts to click together,

Not smoothly I might add, however the puzzle is now starting to fit together.

It was with this niche the voice of Angel would be heard, as I took a stand against various things that I believe in and stood up as I asked the question why?

Why do we as people make living on the same planet as one another so hard?

Why do we inflict and tolerate such cruelty, selfishness and greed across our planet?

Furthermore how can governments allow suffering to continue, almost condoning it?

Greed and power is what I concluded when I looked at the overall picture.

It was at this overall conclusion I came to the reality that no matter what I did or said I couldn’t change the world, nor could I save all those who suffer within it.

All I can do is what I have always done, which is simply be me,

The girl who conforms in her own way

Often outside the box,

Often outspoken,

Always her own worst critic,

Often her own worst enemy as I continue to put my jigsaw of life into some shape.

Somehow learning that I have to find the courage to change the things I can, and to accept that I cannot change everything.

Somehow finding within me the wisdom to know the difference, and the will to continue to take one step at a time,

Reminding myself that we all learn how to balance before we walk,

That as we learn this fine art of balance, we do fall, and we do bump our heads from time to time, and yes the falling part does involve some pain.

Whether it’s a bruise we have given ourselves as we have lost balance, a graze or simply our ego’s as we jump back up onto our feet, not letting the world see that embarrassing moment we took that stumble.

Those stumbles we take, those mistakes we make, there part of learning, part of growing, part of human nature, as life continues to keep going.

As they say, we need to break a few eggs to make a cake, so I keep cracking those eggs in the big bowl of life, and wonder to myself, how many fucking eggs does it take to finally bake a cake?

I guess I will figure the rest of the recipe out as I grow, but for now I am  happy to keep cracking those eggs.


About Angel O'Fire

New Zealand born, this kiwi chick took flight to live in the great land down under in Queensland Australia in 1988. I am clumsy at times not known for my tact and or grace, straight to the point, and somewhat impatient, I have come to accept that what is in this life simply is. Far from religious, I do not believe in a divine god per say that will come down and save the world, although I accept each to their own when it comes to their views and beliefs of what religion is or should be. I consider myself to be my own worst critic as I tend to strive for best, and have a tendency to push myself physically and emotionally beyond my limits. Still naive at times, still hoping to see the good rather than the bad in people, this has not been one of the qualities that I can say I am fond of, as it has come to burn me time after time over the years. I am a strong believer in Karma, as I do believe in what we put out is what we do get in return, good bad or indifferent. With a tendency to stand my ground when it comes to opinions, as we all have one, there is no right nor wrong, it is a perspective, a view point on how we view a subject. Zero tolerance for others who are self-riotous, I have no interest in people who claim to have never done any wrong in their lives, and who judge others, prior to walking in those they cast judgement upon’s shoes. I am just your average girl who is trying to make my way through life as it is. I am a mother, lover, friend, partner, co-worker, manager, coach, and referee, a Jill of all trades. A firm believer that ‘ignorance is not bliss’ nor is ‘ignorance’ and excuse to be an arsehole in the world we live in today, those who continue to use the ‘ignorance is bliss’ rule are plainly arrogant and uneducated. I love the water, beach surf and sand, the water is where I seem to find myself when I need to take 5 mins out of life's hectic cycle. I figure that each to their own, as it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I believe that life is not learnt out of a text book, and often wonder why we teach our lessons from one to our growing generations. Although I can be a surprising wealth of knowledge I find it amazing how a person can actually no so much about nothing, yet be a master of the topic. I am that girl who cuts her jeans into shorts because she got hot, am not one to enjoy shopping, in fact I hate the entire nightmare of going shopping and it has me fkd how so many chicks say 'lets make a day of it' and love bouncing from shop to shop looking at things that are well pointless. All in all that is me so hello world I'm Angel.
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4 Responses to Eggs

  1. Angel, never change what made you you, you are Unique, and all those eggs go to making a great Cake..
    Wishing you well.

  2. Angel O'Fire says:

    Some things never change, *grins, thank you Dreamwalker, ((hugs))

  3. always sending a Hug back.. my friend.. always xxx

  4. Lisa Neumann says:

    I’ve yet to finish egg cracking. Difference for me today is that I no longer expect the chicken to stop laying them. They’re coming whether I like it or not. And whether I bake cake or not.

    Loved this whole post. I seemed to have checked out from my school years, but watching my children struggle has been enlightening and heartbreaking—all in the same breath.

    Angel, there is so much beauty in the struggle. But I haven’t a clue what it all means—truly.

    with love, Lisa

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