48 Hours Later

Although I have just spent what feels to be the longest 48 hours of my life whilst on an unwanted unrequired medication vacation, finally the light at the end of the tunnel has come.

It’s amazing really how 6 tiny tablets within minutes of going from your mouth hitting your stomach as they begin to dissolve and find their way into your screaming blood stream actually change an entire life of a person.

Now far be it from me the alleged non-professional I mean fuck me I am just the person who has been on these meds that doctors seem to dick around with for 10 years, to state that I know when and if my body much less my brain requires any form of medication vacation.

Holy crap try explaining to a new doctor that you don’t require what an average patient requires whilst they treat you, because your condition is not anywhere like what anybody else on the face of this planet actually has.

Yes wanting to kill the doctor, much less grab him with both hands as you place them around his fat neck and choke the living shit out of him is not about to do you or your cause much good at this point.

Your left with the suck it up 48 hours of living hell that you know too well your about to go through, yet try to explain this to fatso who holds your life literally in the balance with his pen and pad that he writes your meds out onto well this is a different story.

So you are left with one of three choices, argue your point, which I add  is futile, grab hold of the doctors fat throat and choke, again futile the watch house Is not a great place to spend your medication vacation only to come out and find not one single doctor will treat you, or three, suck it up and do what this dick head says.

I chose the third option despite wanting to choke the life out of porky.

I figure that every time I am forced to change doctors and every time I get a new one willing to take on my case, that this is some form of standard procedure, this whole medication vacation, total crap that puts me at risk of having more seizures, and puts those around me in a situation where they go as far away from me as humanly possible as they don’t wish to be yelled and screamed at whilst my body brain and entire being is lacking in a chemical.

So I sucked it up, and god damn it was the longest 48 hours of my life, needless to say that I am guessing as the fat quack gets to know me and my case he will soon become aware of how these small stints of vacations are not required and just how much damage they do rather than good as the text books may lead him to believe.

Dear god all the man has to do is look into my whole case overall and not just at what medication I am on as an individual medication that seems to all cross one another’s paths, yet in a stereo typical case would not be used to treat a person all at the same time.

Jesus Joseph and Mary when will they learn?


About Angel O'Fire

New Zealand born, this kiwi chick took flight to live in the great land down under in Queensland Australia in 1988. I am clumsy at times not known for my tact and or grace, straight to the point, and somewhat impatient, I have come to accept that what is in this life simply is. Far from religious, I do not believe in a divine god per say that will come down and save the world, although I accept each to their own when it comes to their views and beliefs of what religion is or should be. I consider myself to be my own worst critic as I tend to strive for best, and have a tendency to push myself physically and emotionally beyond my limits. Still naive at times, still hoping to see the good rather than the bad in people, this has not been one of the qualities that I can say I am fond of, as it has come to burn me time after time over the years. I am a strong believer in Karma, as I do believe in what we put out is what we do get in return, good bad or indifferent. With a tendency to stand my ground when it comes to opinions, as we all have one, there is no right nor wrong, it is a perspective, a view point on how we view a subject. Zero tolerance for others who are self-riotous, I have no interest in people who claim to have never done any wrong in their lives, and who judge others, prior to walking in those they cast judgement upon’s shoes. I am just your average girl who is trying to make my way through life as it is. I am a mother, lover, friend, partner, co-worker, manager, coach, and referee, a Jill of all trades. A firm believer that ‘ignorance is not bliss’ nor is ‘ignorance’ and excuse to be an arsehole in the world we live in today, those who continue to use the ‘ignorance is bliss’ rule are plainly arrogant and uneducated. I love the water, beach surf and sand, the water is where I seem to find myself when I need to take 5 mins out of life's hectic cycle. I figure that each to their own, as it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I believe that life is not learnt out of a text book, and often wonder why we teach our lessons from one to our growing generations. Although I can be a surprising wealth of knowledge I find it amazing how a person can actually no so much about nothing, yet be a master of the topic. I am that girl who cuts her jeans into shorts because she got hot, am not one to enjoy shopping, in fact I hate the entire nightmare of going shopping and it has me fkd how so many chicks say 'lets make a day of it' and love bouncing from shop to shop looking at things that are well pointless. All in all that is me so hello world I'm Angel.
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3 Responses to 48 Hours Later

  1. Mandi says:

    I definitely don’t like this because I “like” it. I just wrote about my unpleasant experience yesterday with my psychiatrist. Who, now that you mention it, I could strangle about now. WHY do they NOT just READ THE NOTES. Isn’t that the point in taking all those notes to begin with? I’m sorry, 48 hours is too long to live like that. I’m sure it felt never ending!

  2. Angel O'Fire says:

    My sheer frustration comes from being no more than a number as they flick through their computer screens reading fuck know’s what and never really understanding or knowing what it is that a person that they claim to be treating goes through. They seem to rely on text book answers without realising some cases are simply not text book. It just pisses me off that due to this regulation and that law this is how the doctor is able to assist a person when in reality the policies and procedures in place are bullshit. Thanks Mandi and to be honest 48 hours felt like a month ((hugs)) Angel

  3. Mandi says:

    I’m sorry! It sounds like the system is different here. My psychiatrist knows me well. (I AM unforgettable really, but so are you! And most others with BPD!) :) I’m really frustrated with my care right now, but I’m definitely not just a name on a screen and there ARE no text book answers for me. I fit no text book! It sounds like you don’t either. I can’t even imagine the frustration that would cause. As if you don’t have enough to deal with to begin with.

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