In life whether we realise it or not we all have some kind of goal that we have set in the back of our minds.

This goal may be something we know that is set something for example we see ourselves to have completed by a certain age that we have given our selves a time limit on, or day of a year.

Some goals we may not even realise that we have set to be goals per say, these are things like just making through the day, each minute leading to an hour as we come closer to that day we are living ending.

Let’s face the reality of goals and the reality of reaching them before we state that ‘I will by the age of 30 be married to the perfect partner have the best job, the garage with the 2.5 perfectly behaved children, and savings in the bank’ as we hit the age we have set our minds to and suddenly that goal we set that we were adamant would be the way it is, simply is not the way it is as we are still single, working in a job if we are lucky enough to have any form of gainful employment that is not the dream job we had painted in our minds eye.

Much less having that dream partner, as we have discovered that we are some bodies back up call at 2 am in the morning, for when they are out and about and don’t get lucky.

They know we are home, waiting for their call to come and have that casual sex that we hope we pray will turn into some kind of fairy tale romance, when the cold hard reality is we are no more than that 2am fuck.

Nothing is about to flourish from this, no relationship is about to bloom yet in the back of our minds as desperation to reach that goal we had envisaged, sets in, and fades into the distance, we hold out that last breath in hopes that maybe just perhaps that person we let into our beds and will drop whatever for at 2am will actually be their when we wake up one morning.

We hope that something somehow will change how desperate we have become to fulfil this goal that was simply unrealistic in the first place, as we continue to settle for less than second best, right before we hit rock bottom and crash and burn with a giant failure labelled under ourselves.

As the hope of the 2 car garage becomes no more than a dream that once was the cold hard reality sets in that maybe we had set our goals too high for how we may have imagined life to have turned out by this age we had in mind.

Maybe we have watched one too many Hollywood movies where the couple get married into a life of perfection with a white picket fence and the perfect kids who don’t really exist, they are only real on the screen writer’s dialogue.

But this is what we had set our life goals on, this white picket perfect fucking dream, the Hollywood silver screen Casanova the titanic of real life that we are sinking in or the real life Bermuda triangle that we are really fucking lost in.

My god panic sets in as we realise that not only do we settle for less than second best, but we are willing to take anything at this point just to fulfil that promise we set that goal we made one New Year’s Eve over 2 decades ago.

Raising our glasses to toast in the new  year, or raising our bongs as we smoked cones with our friends, who now seem to have that perfect goal we all set ourselves that new year, but you well your perfect ending is not exactly the perfect goal you had set out to have.

No you’re the reason they invented those fail posters, and you will continue to be the reason why those posters that read fail underneath them are circulated as you continue to set goals and never reach them.

Why is it you never succeed in reaching your goals you ask yourself?

Not admitting the actual reason is because those goals your setting are not your goals per say, nor are they realistic, but at the time you make these things that you have set some time frame on you don’t care, about how realistic they are, nor what you have to do in order to half kill yourself to try to reach them, you are willing to take on the devil in the race for world dominance because you said you would own the world by the age 25 and be married to Mr or Ms perfect by 30.

The reality is life is not always going to go to plan, it doesn’t work this way, life is a road that is not always straight and narrow, GPS is not always going to steer you in the right direction, life is a twisted assortment of health, nature, and any other obstacle that can do and will get in the way whilst you’re driving down the free ways.

You will realise that there are stop signs, that you had not put into the entire I will have plan, give way signs, and dead ends that were not a 2nd thought when you had set a goal that was based upon the silver screen that is written by some love struck Romeo who made it into the glitter of film writing, or porn whichever came first.

You start to realise that children regardless of who they are, or who tells you that they have the perfect kids are never perfect, the image you have of babies is not the way it is in reality, as the sleep deprivation and breast-feeding becomes a living nightmare, the fights between siblings is almost a joke and the you love him more than you love me is a reality as the wrinkles start to show on your face.

We set these things we call goals, without  thinking about the reality of them, and if the goal we are setting ourselves is a dream more than a goal, knowing that in reality a goal is finishing a sentence without forgetting what the next word was going to be, or making sure you have paid the rent that week, or maybe paying off a bill that is about to come around and bite you, a dream is that white picket fence, that doesn’t exist, but in your mind’s eye, it did, you know it did.

About Angel O'Fire

New Zealand born, this kiwi chick took flight to live in the great land down under in Queensland Australia in 1988. I am clumsy at times not known for my tact and or grace, straight to the point, and somewhat impatient, I have come to accept that what is in this life simply is. Far from religious, I do not believe in a divine god per say that will come down and save the world, although I accept each to their own when it comes to their views and beliefs of what religion is or should be. I consider myself to be my own worst critic as I tend to strive for best, and have a tendency to push myself physically and emotionally beyond my limits. Still naive at times, still hoping to see the good rather than the bad in people, this has not been one of the qualities that I can say I am fond of, as it has come to burn me time after time over the years. I am a strong believer in Karma, as I do believe in what we put out is what we do get in return, good bad or indifferent. With a tendency to stand my ground when it comes to opinions, as we all have one, there is no right nor wrong, it is a perspective, a view point on how we view a subject. Zero tolerance for others who are self-riotous, I have no interest in people who claim to have never done any wrong in their lives, and who judge others, prior to walking in those they cast judgement upon’s shoes. I am just your average girl who is trying to make my way through life as it is. I am a mother, lover, friend, partner, co-worker, manager, coach, and referee, a Jill of all trades. A firm believer that ‘ignorance is not bliss’ nor is ‘ignorance’ and excuse to be an arsehole in the world we live in today, those who continue to use the ‘ignorance is bliss’ rule are plainly arrogant and uneducated. I love the water, beach surf and sand, the water is where I seem to find myself when I need to take 5 mins out of life's hectic cycle. I figure that each to their own, as it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I believe that life is not learnt out of a text book, and often wonder why we teach our lessons from one to our growing generations. Although I can be a surprising wealth of knowledge I find it amazing how a person can actually no so much about nothing, yet be a master of the topic. I am that girl who cuts her jeans into shorts because she got hot, am not one to enjoy shopping, in fact I hate the entire nightmare of going shopping and it has me fkd how so many chicks say 'lets make a day of it' and love bouncing from shop to shop looking at things that are well pointless. All in all that is me so hello world I'm Angel.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Goals

  1. alissea says:

    Are you saying that it’s better to give up on these unrealistic goals and stop chasing the dreams? You believe that this illusion (of the perfect life) will hinder you from achieving something that’s actually possible to achieve?

    I may not be married, living in a house in the suburbs with 2.5 children (makes me wonder what happened to the remaining 0.5…), but sometimes having a dream and wake up feeling your body shaking from withdrawals may be better than never going to bed at all.

  2. Angel O'Fire says:

    No I am not saying that a person should stop having unrealistic goals, and chasing dreams by any means, what I am saying is that it pays to be realistic and know that you can not always catch the dreams your chasing, set goals that are within your reach rather than ones you know you will never meet, and live in reality, not in the dream of tomorrow, and the perfection that you think it will bring, because when reality does smack us in the face, it hits hard.

  3. Scottie says:

    I think I understand Angel…I was sure as an 18 year old in the army making less than $ 500 dollars a month I would be a millionaire by the time I was thirty…I had no idea how, I just knew I would be there…I got out of the Army and the first Job I took I had no idea how much money it would take just to put a roof over my head..LOL

    So life changes..I fell in lust as a teen several times…I fell in love once as a Army man with a guy who shared my life, my money, my situation, but sadly, never my love…I left the service and just by accident one day bumped into the man who I will spend the rest of my life with, happy and totally in love..22 years ago.

    As for children, I can’t say anything about them when they are young, but as for my son, in his 20’s, I can speak volumes. Fears, tears, misunderstandings, love, grand days, wonderful showings of love, and some times angers and despair…Everything from me worrying late into the night until he lets me know he is home…a thing he does because he knows I care…to his upset to learn one of his friends stole from us..which we don’t blame him for..but he blames himself…So kids..family…a strange growing thing..and one I love, fear, and give my heart to…

    Many hugs

Comments are closed.