Just Being Me


When was the last time you did nothing and I mean literally nothing wrong? Make no single mistake not have one tiny hair out-of-place, not say one single thing in a day that may offend or hurt another?

When was the last time you had one single day in your life that you did not pick fault with somebody, be it their appearance or their personality?

Every day I guarantee even the best behaved, highest pillar of society will and does do something that somebody somewhere will view to be inappropriate.

For instance the latest scandal with prince harries and his nude romp?

I laughed my fucking arse off at this, was the red-headed prince not born into life naked?

Every day I see people out there who walk around in their glass houses, forgetting that the glass is double-sided mirrored images in some places, as they continue to walk around literally bearing it all thinking others can’t or don’t see their imperfections flaws.

They sit inside their homes throwing rocks candidly, yet forget that when you throw rocks inside a building there is only a limited space for which this rock can be thrown before it bounces off one suffice and smashes you’re so called perfect world you have created for those outside to view.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the fucking pope king of England queen of England, black white or yellow, it doesn’t matter if your male or female nor if you’re 10 or 100 years old.

You are not perfect and have no right to sit there in your chair looking out your window that one day you will smash or the cracks that hide the imperfections within the glass no longer hold your plate of glass in that you hide behind.

What prompted this outburst of  sorts you may be wondering as you read my words, which is where I am about to explain the leading up to my fuck up or fuck right off words.

For those out there who know me you know that recently I have taken a turn in the world to head to the country from the beach and glamor sand and shit which on its own has been one hell of a move, so leaving the beach and entering a small town was one that hit the tabloids and local bush gossip lines at a rate faster than a bush fire burning under the hot sun.

Similar to being the new kid at a new school yet with adults, who are for the most part not too bad, but then there is as always the minority with their galah-a leader the town gossip.

Oh how people in small towns live for this town drama fucking queen, as I have learned this women seems to be that of my very neighbour, and oh the fucking headlines since Angel hit this small town have never been bolder.

Nor have they been accurate, however I have concluded, let them think what they want to think, and make their stories into the local bush novel.

God damn I am the local brothel, pimp, drug dealer, who came from the big city town, I am the local women who I am sure by now is sleeping with the two local cops in this town, not to mention the heat the dude over the road feels whenever the boys in blue stop outside my house, (often their stopping in relation to work however none of the small-minded neighbours know this) as they lock windows shut curtains and don’t surface until the heat is what they think to be gone.

I walk out into the front yard to do my garden in the afternoon with my son, where hells bloody bells cars start to drive past at an alarming number out of nowhere, it is like I have created fucking peak hour, as they start tooting their horns and whistling out to a female in a skirt who happens to be doing her own thing with her son minding her own business much to the delight of the good old redneck local boys.

Since coming out to the country I have managed to see snakes (something I am not familiar with at the best of times, however am now becoming familiar with the slimy little fuckers), I have managed to see the slaughter of two ducks from next door as the neighbours belt them over the head with the shovel to shock them, prior to using the axe to behead them.

As my son stood there telling me about the broken ducks, I look over and see first-hand jut how it is that it’s done in the country and find myself vomiting in the front garden.

I have now seen spider bigger than my god damn hand, and women who have never seen a razor to shave their legs much less any other parts I dread to think of, I have seen the local crazy women ride her lawn mower to the local shop and back home again to buy an ice block, and I have screamed my arse off whilst being on a mini dirt bike that I can safely say I do not like.

I can tell you that this country change certainly has been an eye opener of sorts, both for me and mine, and the locals, as I grin thinking to myself the stories that must fucking circulate.

In the afternoons I have this habit of turning on the stereo and blasting the music like my house is now a fucking night club, then I laugh as I realise I had Kevin bloody Wilson blasting, or green day and their language that just rocks, even better is when pink gets turned up as fucking perfect gets blasted to the beat of the windows literally shaking.

But I tell you the thing that pisses me off the one thing that really does urk this Angel’s ball and chain, is the fucking gossip next door who would not have a fucking clue, nor am I about to drop her any (none that are accurate anyway).

All this in the space of a few months, and yet somewhere deep down I know in my heart of hearts there is so much more to come, as once again I smile looking around the lounge for the remote to the amp, cause I feel like putting on the stereo, it’s that time of the day.

About Angel O'Fire

New Zealand born, this kiwi chick took flight to live in the great land down under in Queensland Australia in 1988. I am clumsy at times not known for my tact and or grace, straight to the point, and somewhat impatient, I have come to accept that what is in this life simply is. Far from religious, I do not believe in a divine god per say that will come down and save the world, although I accept each to their own when it comes to their views and beliefs of what religion is or should be. I consider myself to be my own worst critic as I tend to strive for best, and have a tendency to push myself physically and emotionally beyond my limits. Still naive at times, still hoping to see the good rather than the bad in people, this has not been one of the qualities that I can say I am fond of, as it has come to burn me time after time over the years. I am a strong believer in Karma, as I do believe in what we put out is what we do get in return, good bad or indifferent. With a tendency to stand my ground when it comes to opinions, as we all have one, there is no right nor wrong, it is a perspective, a view point on how we view a subject. Zero tolerance for others who are self-riotous, I have no interest in people who claim to have never done any wrong in their lives, and who judge others, prior to walking in those they cast judgement upon’s shoes. I am just your average girl who is trying to make my way through life as it is. I am a mother, lover, friend, partner, co-worker, manager, coach, and referee, a Jill of all trades. A firm believer that ‘ignorance is not bliss’ nor is ‘ignorance’ and excuse to be an arsehole in the world we live in today, those who continue to use the ‘ignorance is bliss’ rule are plainly arrogant and uneducated. I love the water, beach surf and sand, the water is where I seem to find myself when I need to take 5 mins out of life's hectic cycle. I figure that each to their own, as it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I believe that life is not learnt out of a text book, and often wonder why we teach our lessons from one to our growing generations. Although I can be a surprising wealth of knowledge I find it amazing how a person can actually no so much about nothing, yet be a master of the topic. I am that girl who cuts her jeans into shorts because she got hot, am not one to enjoy shopping, in fact I hate the entire nightmare of going shopping and it has me fkd how so many chicks say 'lets make a day of it' and love bouncing from shop to shop looking at things that are well pointless. All in all that is me so hello world I'm Angel.
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5 Responses to Just Being Me

  1. Lisa Neumann says:

    You had me at the first line. The answer is “never.”
    Plenty of room for me to grow :)

  2. Angel O'Fire says:

    Thank you Lisa, as you know I am a groupie of your work, I think Soberidentity rocks, one of the first things that made me fall in love with it was the 12 steps – god, your one hell of a writer and a top lady, thank you for following my rants raves and often over opinionated blog ((hugs)) Angel

  3. Lisa Neumann says:

    I think the same of you. It’s nice to see how well life works when we accept people where they are at. Love the rants and I’ve had plenty. Keep them coming.

  4. Welcome to country life girl, seems like you have settled in well and are already being welcomed in a typical country town style, it always raises eyebrows when an outsider moves into the Ozarks and is not from that clan, you will be truely accepted if you attend a CWA meeting and take along a few lammingtons, oh and dont forget to volunteer for the local fire brigade and make sure you take your turn at the tuck shop.
    Aussie Emu

  5. Scottie says:

    Hello Angel…wow so many different ideas and things in this post. If I may just pick out a few. I grew up in the country , on farms..and we would never have done what was done to your son and you…kill an animal in the front yard. We often did have that chore, but it was not done to shock or cause others discomfort..It was simply a part of life, done in the barn or if to save a calf, done in the field. But never with malice.

    Snakes and other animals have never bothered me, however I do admit some upset and nervousness around spiders..I have often wondered, many people say I have a way with animals, If I had had a chance could I have made a decent Vet?

    last about nudity. I find nothing wrong with the human body, except each is different. I do not suggest it is OK to wander into a young child’s school nude, we do have proper protocols, yet I find the fear of a naked body to be something I can’t comprehend. I find clothing should be worn to protect the body from the elements, not the mind from shame.

    In my work I see all sorts of bodies, young old, sick and dying. I clean all of them, male and female. I touch and see, and deal with all the parts. There is not much mystical in them, not much magic…simply bodies and body parts.

    The true magic is in your loving partner, who you want to cuddle with, your desire is strengthened by their touch. There is such a difference in the nudity and love, or sex…lust. one is just a body, they other a gift of one person to the other.

    I think back to when I was a 18 year old soldier in German on a nude beach..laying on my tummy so my State side body wouldn’t betray me..and seeing a woman in her 70′s….nude with her body large, saggy , and she was an Angel. All day she went around the beach picking up the trash and crap others thoughtlessly discarded, keeping it clean for all of us…yet many of my companions couldn’t see her beauty…to them she was old and saggy, With huge hanging breasts. But to me she was a jewel beyond measure. Happy with her self, and willing to do work others wouldn’t do, keeping it nice for all of us. I will always remember her and think of her fondly.

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